Stuck In A Crapy Fanfic
by I should get a social life
Summary: Friends Alice and Kate become the victims of a fan girls fan fiction, how will they deal with plot holes becoming marry-sue(ish) and stupid new names? Not to mention they hear everything the narrator says.
1. Chapter 1

Stuck In A Bad Fan-Fic

**A/N **So this is is my first fanfic and it will be about a group of people stuck in a horrible fanfic please review because I'm bored ;3 btw i shall swear a tad.

...

Marry light feather river ruby gold was just a normal girl, except she was a purebred angel, so beautiful-

"WHY IS THERE A VOICE OHMYGODWHATTHEHELLSISGOINGONIMGONNADIE" she screeched elegantly.

"HOW THE HELL DO YOU SCREAM ELEGANTLY AND MY AME IS NOT MARRY SHADOW WATER ROCK" she asked, then a portal appeared, oh i better jump through it she thought.

"NO NO NO DO NOT GO NEAR THE PORTAL OH FEET WATCHA DOIN FEET STHAPAD" was her last words before she was sent to the HxH universe.

"ohmygodimgonnadiepleasehelpmeIDON'TWANNADIE" a-hem her **last words.**

"oh god im gonna die..." her silver hair flashed like diamonds and her blue eyes like saphire full of anger- confusion. Beautiful white skin disappeared into the portal.

...

Marry light feather river ruby gold's best friend-

"Does anyone else hear that" she asked, her name was Silver dawn diamond wind ghost

"That has to be the most shitty name ever-" She was: 1/4 nymph, 2/4 spirit, 1/4 werewolf, 1/4 vampire, 3/4 swan-

"Dafuq" she pondered as her blue hair lays over her shoulder her purple eyes glinting against her beautiful cream white skin.

"I'm a brunette" She is also 1/4 ghost "How would ghost sex work?" and 2/4 demigod, at the same time as Mary light feather river ruby gold's portal appeared one by her appeared!

"No no no I want to stay with the internet" she said as she walked closer to the the portal "Do you think I could chop off my legs?"

...

**A/N **ok that chapter was short but it was the intro so... Don't get mad? :3 I would love reviews (I have a severe review addiction) If you don't know what to say then... Whose name is better (By better I mean worse) Marry light feather river ruby gold or Silver dawn diamond wind ghost. For extra points, how would ghosts have sex?


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N **I don't know who followed this story but the one random person on the internet who followed this story, I love you have a cookie.

...

"AUSVUASTYGHSHJGGSGJSYGDDHFAM" Marry moon light feather gold more pretty stuff super long name screamed as she fell onto a huge field

"Oh hi..." her friend Silver dawn diamond wind ghost another long name said "You hear the voices too right"

"Oh yeah" the silver haired girl replied "The really stupid commentator who gave us really stupid names" They _actually _had long names because they were royal princesses.

"But... Why royal princesses, all princesses are royal" The blue haired bitc- girl asked.

"Very redundant" her friend continued. They were princesses until their parents abandoned then and they had to steal and kill to survive, they have to take the hunter exam to be princesses again.

"What if we don't wanna be princess, I'm cool with being homeless and stuff" The blue haired girl asked, she was worried about her friends safety in the exam how kind!

"I'm not worried about her." She countered as her friend sulked in the background, Silver-

"CALL ME KATE GODDAMMIT" _Kate_ was very shy.

"Shut up" _Kate_ moaned. _Kate_ was raped ten times as a child, remembering past experiences she sulked, her cries echoing through the flat plains-

"Are you sure echoes work like that?" Marry light-

"No fair! Kate get's to be _Kate _why do I have to be Marry light feather derp moon pretty ruby and stuff?" She complained. To hide their identities as princesses-

"I thought we weren't princesses anymore" _Kate _grumbles. They would be _Kate _and Kate.

"Why am I Kate too?" the silver haired asked. She said it was unfair for silver dawn diamond stuff to be _Kate. _To make it fair she will be Kate.

"Screw off I'm Alice" Kate said as she flipped off the was raped seven times. Three less than _Kate. _

"Do you notice when we tick the voice off it screws us over?" whispered _Kate _to Kate. The talking had to be stop because-

"Are rapist's gonna rape us?" The blue haired asked her voice dripping with sarcasm. They had to get to the hunter exam!

"Don't wanna go to the shit-" Kate was cut off by _Kate _using her teleportation power! They appeared at some docks! They could take a boat to get to the town the exam is being held in!

"Why didn't we teleport right to the exam site?" _Kate _complained...They din't... Because... _Kate _had a flash back of her being raped and stop talking.

"Wow! This is cool... But lame screw you voice!" Kate once again flipped off the sky. They then headed to the boat next to them that went to the exam site!

"How do we know it's not full of rapist's" Kate mused skipping on board, she was met by the jeering on the ships inhabitants, "Little girls can't be hunters" A large man boomed as he went up to the girls

"Shut up n00b" _Kate _said sharply getting into 'game chat' mode "I will fuk ur shit up lik a bo5" The mans laugh was met by her sharply kicking his.. well private areas.

"fukin n00bs lolz" _Kate _spat sadistically as she left 'game chat' mode.

"Listen up yer landlubbers" The most pirate-y voice ever commanded, "our last stop be whale island den we be goin to der exams. arrggg"

"Nyahh _Kate_ do you wanna go explore?" Kate asked.

"No."

**A/N: **Ok I'm sorry that they didn't meet Gon and co yet but next chapter will be on the ship!

If you are wondering why 'Kate' is _Kate_, it's not just for telling them apart but you put extra emphasis on _Kate_ became the narrator hates her,PLEASE PLS PLS REVIEW *Gives best puppy dog eyes* If you don't know what to say then, should I change it from them both being named Kate -and yes, I did mess up the stupid long names on purpose- and how many times did Kate (not _Kate_) flip off the sky, how many times will she flip off the sky next time?AND WHY IS DIS NOTE SO LONG :3 pls review.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N**

oh... I DON"T OWN HXH STUFF that's the king of hiatus's property (But I do own Kate, _Kate_ and narrator... that sounds really wrong)

...

"I'm board _Kate_" Kate said twirling her silver hair.

"Shut up." The blue haired bitc- girl snapped "annoy the narrator, and stop putting the emphasis of my name it's Kate not _Kate_"

"If I annoy the narrator it'll give me a horrible past, and your _Kate_ you can't be Kate because I'm Kate, ok _Kate_?" Kate complained to _Kate._

"Uh, you said your name was Kate?" A new voice asked the girls tuned to see the questioner he was a boy around 11 years old with greenish black hair and green attire "My name is Gon" he introduced himself.

"Hi I'm Kate!" Kate replied.

"I thought you were Kate" Gon asked confused pointing to _Kate._

"No no no, that's _Kate_, my name is Kate" She explained confident she cleared up the matters.

"Um, Gon" a man in a suit who was later introduced as L'oreal or something like that asked "Do you notice the voice narrating everything? And my named Lerorio!"

"Damm straight stalker voice is following us" _Kate _grumbled as she died a horrible painful- oh unfortunately that didn't happen.

"It hates _Kate_" Kate explained, somehow the character's hear the strange awesome all powerful voice who is so great only people who are also awesome can hear it, oh _Kate_ can hear it too. Suddenly the gulls went-

"Dem gulls be goin' cra-cra!" Kate noticed, she realized a storm was brewing!

"Holy shizza there's gonna be a storm!?" Kate asked her eyes wide with fright.

"Yeah there's gonna be a storm the gulls say-"

"Aint nobody got time for dat" _Kate _said as she cut of Gon. "I be gettin' in a cabin"

"Now you want to explore the ship!" Kate muttered.

...

"AHAHAHAHAHA THIS IS SO MUCH FUN A-BLEHHGGGG" Kate was laughing/screaming/vomiting as she was being bounced around the ship. L'orial was reading pervy mag, _Kate _was playing pokemon, Gon was helping people and a blond was napping.

"If I pulled a Van Ghoh and chopped off my ear would I still hear the voice"?_ Kate_ mused

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-BHELLEGH-AHAHAHAHA I PUCKED ON SOME ONE" Kate screamed.

"Um, excuse me but there's a voice-"

"Everyone, der's gonna be 'nother storm, arg so if you wanna then arg leave arg" The pirate-y captain cut of the blonde "The one's who are staying follow me!"

"WHOOOO MOE STORM MOE FUN" Kate's muffled voice yelled.

...

"So why do you want to be hunter?" The man asked

"I wanna see what my dad's work is like!" a cheerful Gon replied, L'oreal and Kurapika didn't want to answer. when Kate and _Kate_ were posed with the question they looked at each other.

"..." both Kate and _Kate_ in looked blankly "narrator told us..." The other inhabitants of the boat decided to move on. L'oreal and Kurapika fight blah blah blah...

"The narrator sucks at it's job" Kate pointed out "It's skipping all of this stuff." Kate and _Kate_ watched as Gon did his 'jumping of boats is fun' scene

...

"Screw all this boat-ness I'm having a nap" _Kate_ siad as she sauntered away, Kate following like a puppy.

**A/N** Hello everyone who actually like my story enough to read this far! PLS REVIEW, if you don't know what to say answer some questions of mine (;_; no reviews yet)

1. Do you like having Kate and_ Kate_ having the same name?

2. Do you like Leorio being L'oreal?

3. Is there any reason for you to not review

4. What's a clever guilt trip to have people review?


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N ** I DON'T OWN HXH (I wish I did ;_; I just have Kate and _Kate_)

...

"Hey_ Kate_" Kate started "did ya notice how the narrator skipped a few chapters from the original Hunter x Hunter story line?"

"The what now?" _Kate_ asked because she should go die.

"Shut up narrator you didn't even get how echo's worked" Stupid _Kate_ mummer mummer...

"Annnnnnnnyyyyyyyway~" Kate began again as they walked around in some city like Zammy or something "Hunter x Hunter is a manga and anime, I've watched it"

_Kate_ ignored this and was being stupid, "You _do_ know we're in Zaban city, can't even remember a city name, no wounder you named both of us Kate"

...

"Oy Kurapika, what do they mean by this being a manga?" Gon asked.

"...I think... They have...problems..." Kurapika said. As we know _Kate_ is a problem but not Kate.

"What kind of problems?"

"...Special kinds Gon, don't bring it up."

...

_"What is wrong with those girls, they're talking to some non-existent voice..." _The guide thought to himself.

...

"I WANT STEAK" Kate shouted "GIVE ME SLOW COOKED STEAK NOW I"M HUNGRY GODDAMMIT"

"OK go to the back room" The chef told the group.

...

"Good luck on getting this far" The guide congratulated them as he left.

"NOOOOO DON'T LEAVE US WHY ARE YOU LEAVING US IS IT BECAUSE I WANTED TO STOP FOR STEAK?" Kate whined as the guide simply shook his head and left "We're not gonna be able to take the exam AND OMFG IT'S MOVING"

"Umm Kate" Kurapika started "I think we are heading towards the testing place, the steak was a pass word."

"There's no steak?!" Kate and Gon asked at the same time.

"Shut the fuck up" _Kate_ was being rude and bitchy as always "And goddammit Kate you said you read the manga so you should know what's happening"

"I read the what now?" Kate asked as _Kate _face palmed leaving all the other inhabitants with a blank look.

"Soo..." Gon asked "Why do people want to be hunters so badly?"

"Magical voices" Kate and_ Kate_ suggested. They meant to say awesome voices from the sky.

"Being a hunter is" Kurapika and L'Oreal started together

"The most noble thing in the world!" Kurapika exclaimed.

"Are you kidding me?!" L'Oreal snorted "Hunter's make the most money in the world!"

"Oh damn shit's bout to get down" _Kate_ commented.

"L'Oreal, because your worth it." Was the only thing to be heard from by Kate. L'Oreal and Kurapika argument was cut of by the elevator arriving at it's destination.

"We were only an elevator?" Kate whispered.

"You fucking idiot" _Kate_ face palmed.

...

**A/N** Huge thanks to Sweet Candy180! (she was the only one who cared enough to review

screw all you guys who didn't review... Just kidding! I love you guys for reading this horrible fanfic about a horrible fanfic. If you have nothing to say for a review the answer a question!

1. What would you think if I added another Kate? Probably K-ate or **Kate.**

2. Do you like the narrator hating _Kate_?

3. Whats a question I could ask?


	5. I MADE A LONG AN SORRY

*Kate enters blindfolded with hands tied behind her back*

Kate: Is this a febreze commercial?

No, your here to-

Kate: Am I gonna get raped again?

No Kate just say I don't own Hunter X Hunter

Kate:I don't own a giraffe

Goddammit Kate

Kate: I don't own HunterxHunter

close enough. I DON'T OWN HUNTERXHUNTER

...

I always write chapters at like 2AM

...

"Hey... hey _Kate_.." Kate whispered into her friends ear

"I will chop your tough off" _Kate_ replied.

"...What are we here for?" Kate loudly whispered

"Don't talk until I tell you or you'll have one less eyeball." _Kate_ threatened "And oh look shitty square nosed man approaches"

"Hello my name is Tonpa nice to meet you" The man introduced himself. _ Kate_ wasn't listening.

"That's it for the regulars" Tonpa finished. _K_ate didn't listen and missed importer things of course mummer mummer.

"Hey narrator" _Kate _started "Does your asshole ever get jealous of all the shit that comes out of your mouth?" Goddammit _K_ate she should just bun in hell fucking...

"HUMMMMMM" Kate was trying to suppress laughter from the burn _Kat_e somehow got out there... She then proceeded to collapse on the floor both hands over her mouth.

"Ah so..."Tompa started "Want some juice?"

_"Ah shit" _Kate thought as she has been banned from talking from Shitty-Kate.

"Is that my new name?" Shitty-Kate asked "I'm just going to have people call me _Kate_"

_"I want juice..." _Kate thought_ "But I would have to ask and I can't talk... I wounder what he does for a living though, probably a rapist. No wait he carries around an absurd amount of juice... He's a juice sales person... he does look kinda like a rapist... Juice salesman/rapist Ok!"_

Kate's thoughts were interrupted by _Kate._

"So I 'see I'm _Kate _again" She mused "Anyway I'll take some juice Tuna"

"... Names Tonpa" He corrected. _Kate_ took the juice can opened it and... Poured the whole thing on him kicked his balls and ran away.

_"Classic"_ Kate thought,

"AHHHHHHHHH" A voice pieced the air.

_"Well then" _Kate thought_"Creepy clown chopping off a guys arms... Where have I seen this before... Oh yeah a manga... What manga has a hunter exam? I Like manga, Why am I thinking about manga? Where's Kate...Wait how do they know which Kate I'm talking about if i'm speaking in italics?"_ Shut up Kate.

"BRIIIIIIINNNNGGGGGGG"

"That guy has no mouth" _Kate_ commented as she stared at the first examiner.

"_Can't argue with that" _Kate thought.

**A/N** hello readers! I would like to thank Sweet Candy180 for another review and also thank Bakuretsu-Shio for reviewing! questions I now have are:

1. When do you think Kate will be allowed to talk again?

2. Do you agree with Kate's analysis of Tonpa being a juice salesmen/rapist?

3. Are we human or are we dancer?

AHHH THIS HAS BEEN SITTING ON MY DESKTOP FOR A WHILE, ok, more thanks to Bakuretsu-Shio and Kiluka-chan for commenting, have a virtual cookie everyone! Now from **here on is going to be a very random rant you don't need to read**. The spell check on this site is odd, I'm a very bad speller so 'm staying away from a large vocabulary and it's annoying me DX it gets words wrong ): I had a verrrry bad nose bleed and ruined my sweater *is sad* no really very big nose bleed I won't go into the details cuz it's gross, have you guys read/watched soul eater? I might wanna start a fanfic about soul eater. I think it will kina have an actually plot or it will just be a messed up story like this who knows! But you do have no wounder why Tonpa carriers around juice, like one or to would be normal but he get **four fucking cans** out of his bag. _Kate_ burned narrator and beat up Tonpa so I think she had a good chapter, I also realized by a friend who has never read Hunter X Hunter reading this, you don't even really need to know HxH to find this funny. (If you share my sense of humour whitch sucks)

**Really bad jokes time!** (No not cringey but horrible in a howcouldyoufindthatfunny way)

How do you make a clown cry?

You kill his family.

Why did Lucy fall off the swing set?

She had no arms.

Knock knock

Whose there?

_Not Lucy._

Where did Sally go after the explosion?

Everywhere.

OH GOD THOSE ARE HORRIBLE YET I KINA THINK THERE FUNNY WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME


	6. Extra

**A/N** I'm not a dancer, I actually got 65% in dance. I'm surprised I didn't fail thinking of how bad I was. Annnnywayy to the story (This is not the story just me messing around _even though_ the story is me messing around... you get the point)

...

A breeze sang through a meadow, causing Kate and _Kate_ to shiver, wait why are they in a meadow? They should be at the hunter exam.

"Narrator, we are tired of your antics" _Kate_ began. Wait what?

"RIOT YEAH LET'S RIOT AGAINST NARRATOR" Kate screamed. Kate should calm down, I don't think-

"Narrator your time is done" _Kate_ gave a malice filled smile.

...

"Urg where am I?" The narrator asked.

"What? What happened?" Clueless _Narrator_ asked. The Horribly awful Narrator has been replaced by the amazing fabulous _Kate._

"_Hahahahaha Kate's going to have the Narrator be rape in her past" _Kate thought.

"Oh, ah _Kate_ I didn't really mean the things I said before..." Narrator paled, her body quivering against the force of the magic-sky-voice.

"Please don't kill me" narrator pleaded. Unaware that death would be so far better than what I have planed for The Narrator. The previous voices eyes widened in fear of the horrible sadistic things I have in store.

"_HAHAHAHAHAHAHA MAKE HER GO ON A DATE WITH THE TUNA THE RAPIST/JUICE SALESMAN" _Kate thought because she still isn't allowed to talk.

...

**A/N** yeah that was just a short thing about _Kate _being the narrator.

I finally made a cover, it's very bad and made in paint but a cover nevertheless.

Questions!

1. What would _K__ate_ do to the narrator if she was in control?

2. What would be another manga/anime that you would like to see me do a fanfic of?


	7. I NEED FOOD BUT IT'S SO FAR AWAY

**A/N. **I don't own Hunter X hunter, and it's better that way. I have the German naruto opening song stuck in my head. BELIEVE IT. Why do I always have chapters sit on my desktop for two days or so before I publish them?

...

"How long have we been running?" Gon asked cheerfully even though they have been running for a long time with nothing to narrate on.

"About three hours now" Kurapika answered. A cool looking boy with silver hair around the age of twelve rode past on a skate board (sure spell check he was riding on a scoreboard)

"HEY THAT'S CHEATING" L'Oreal was pissed-

"Shit's about to get down." _Kate_ rudely interrupted yet summed up the situation.

"How's it cheating?" The boy asked coolly "The examiner just asked us to follow him." Gon agreed and introduced himelf while the boy stayed unknown.

"What's your name?" the commoner asked gesturing towards Kate and _ Kate_.

"What's your name ?" _Kate_ was being bitchy again and Kate was still shunned.

"What's your's?" The boy asked annoyed at _Kate_ "Wait the voice... So your Kate?"

"No, my name's _Kate._"

"But I said Kate."

"Goddammit my name's not Kate it's _Kate._"

"It's the same thing!"

"No she's Kate I'm _Kate." _She pointed to Kate whom was still silent.

"Why isn't _Kate_ talking?"

"No! I'm _Kate_ she's Kate, and you still haven't told us your name" _Kate_ was left for a smirk for an answer. The boy is now dubbed **KATE**.

"Ehhh?! My name's NOT Kate, that's her name!"

"That's why your called **KATE**."

"Fine, fine my names Killua." He grumbled. _Kate_ just made it so Killua and Gon weren't BFF's, nice job _Kate_.

"Ok nice to meet you **KATE**/Killua." _Kate _should go die in a hole. Gon and **KATE**/Killua did some race for a dinner date thing, Kurapika and L'Oreal were having a romantic moment and talking about their past.

_"I wounder what Kurapika's and L'Oreals wedding will be like"_ Kate wondered "_I think blue flowers... No white, or maybe...I don't know? Well they should have it outdoor's..."_

_Kate_ was punching the shit out of some geek named Nicolas. (ruining Tuna's fun)

...

Gon and **KATE**/Killua reached the goal the same time as Kate and _Kate _because that always happens when Oc's are introduced...

"Kura-Leo still planning the marriage?" _Kate_ asked Gon only to receive a blank look.

_"I wounder why other Kate hasn't been talking.." Kate_ wondered forgotten that she had threatened Kate to stop speaking.

"Oh that explains it." _Kate_ smiled.

**A/N **Questions! You know I have that review addiction, and you probably know from last chapter I can't dance!

1. Have you watched the German naruto opening?

2. What do you think of it?

Kurapika's and L'Oreals marriage look like?

4. do you like Killua being **KATE/**Killua, before I had it so the **KATE **had the strike through but for some reason it won't show up on this.. D:


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N ** I don't own HxH (in case you didn't know)

...

"Kate!" _Kate _stared at Kate "Speak to me. Is the clown guy who just murdered monkeys a rapist?"

"Don't you have more experience with rapist's? I mean you had three more rapes than me" Kate counted on her fingers "Umm ten minus seven is 70, carry the four... 70 divided by four is 17.5 but if you... HOW DOSE I MATH?"

"It's always worth a second opinion" _Kate_ replied deadpanned.

"I think he works in the circus..."

"Would he do gang rapes then?" _Kate _mused running through some killer swamp.

"Statistically nine out of ten people enjoy gang rape." Kate's comment was met by a fist in the face.

"I actually don't think rapist's work in the circus" _Kate_ watched Kate get up from the ground.

"Why not?" She asked cheerfully "I'm not fucking cheerful I got punched in the face" She flipped off the sky.

"Annnyways" _Kate _continued " a rapist wouldn't work in the circus because their in jail! Then again he's also a mass murderer and he's not in jail" she added watching the clown decapitate a bunch of people.

"Hi L'Oreal!" Kate said to L'Oreal whom was beside her hugging- OK not hugging, Kurapika.

"Well" _Kate_ sighed "I forgot to bring my rape whistle so... _Kate_ out bitches." _Kate_ just left. Goddammit _Kate _you can't do that kind of shit whenever you feel like it.

"Well you can just go die then Narrator" _Kate_'s body was disappearing in the mist, he middle fingers pointed high to the sky.

"Ok L'Oreal let's just go." The Kurta skipped into the woods. Kate also left. L'Oreal thought it would be fun to fight the potentially rape-engaging psychopathic clown. Seems legit. Kate and _Kate_ just kinda watched as L'Oreal get's beat up- wait where did they come from?

...

"He's pedobear." _Kate_ watched the psychopathic clown fight Gon.

"He's totally got a boner for Gon... (;_ ; )"

"Actually he's more like pedobear's murder loving cousin..."

"That work's in a circus"

"How did he get to be like that?" _Kate _mused "Pedobear raped a small child-"

"-Whose name was Robelto?-"

"-The child gave birth, at three years old, they dubbed the infant Pedo-Belto, the infant then raped another infant and thus... Pedo-bearo" _Kate _watched Pedo-Bearo fight the small child known as Gon because she's too much of a lazy ass to help.

"What happened to Pedo-Bearo?" Kate awed at the ridicules story "Also why is the narrator being douche?"

"Some people are just douche-bags Kate."

"Oh _Kate_! I think I know what happens next! He is sold to the gypsy"

"... Kay... So sold to the gypsy he joined the redneck community, and drank moonshine. Then he fell in love with raping children."

"And murder!"

"Now a wanted man Pedo-Bear fled to Russia because he was an alcoholic."

"Alas! He was unable to make it and was caught robbing a police station."

"He killed all the people in the station."

"And took a submarine to Paris!"

"Where he became a museum guide."

"He dyed his hair too."

"To get more money for his fancy makeup he became a stripper"

"Then he gave up a just killed people and raped children." Kate thought about the story intently.

"O.K he's kidnapping L'Oreal now, running in the woods, just Pedo-Bearo things."

...

I haven't updated in a while because unfortunately a classmate recently passed away and I haven't really been up for writing this randomness. My inspiration for this story has also been running dry so I won't be updating that much.

QUESTIONS!

1. What do you think of Hisoka being Pedo-Bearo?

2. HOW DOSE I MATH?


End file.
